I just weighed myself and I have hit a weight I told myself I never would.
I know it doesn’t matter but Jesus. That’s a rough feeling. I figured running at least a little would at least keep me from gaining. Maybe I’m eating worse because I’m exercising. I do that sometimes. Maybe I’m gaining muscle. Maybe our scale is broken. Maybe it’s all period weight? Is that actually a thing?
I’m currently incredibly emotional. I can’t tell if it’s my period, the fact that I saw catching fire last night or the comet that’s hanging around which has a coworker convinced is going to change all of our energies.
I wanted to sleep in this morning and not go for a run because it’s my birthday and I can do whatever I want . I must be maturing with age though, because I told myself that since it was my birthday, I DESERVE to feel good about myselfand be proud of little victories and that I would feel way better if I went for a run. So I did.
I’m amazed at how much easier it is getting to get myself up and out. It’s honestly a really really nice way to start the day. I don’t listen to any music and it’s so nice to take in how still the city is that early on.
I’m just barely under 14 miles after two weeks. I’m not really on track to meet the original goal~ that I set of 45 miles in 30 days, but it IS getting easier. It seems like much less of an obstacle to overcome and something that I’m actually enjoying a little bit. I don’t think I’ve lost any weight or cellulite, but I do feel like I’m making progress.
Days off and holidays always trip me up when I’m trying to be good about exercising. I normally am up around 5:30 5-6 days a week, so when I have all these days off, I want to sleep in as late as possible. Which generally means sleeping in till I have to be somewhere and not making time to exercise.
I haven’t run the past two days. I’m going to try to push myself to 3 miles today to try and make up for it. Plus Santa is out at the had station by me, so I have plenty of incentive to get out there.
I get screamed at by terrible people on a weekly basis and I spend days thinking on how I could have deflected the situation. However, most of the time you have to realize that nothing can be done to please those people and they would have acted out anyways no matter the situation. you live such a giving, positive life which is why it bothers you so much to see people act out. You're great; it's hard but try not to let that ruin your week. <3
I know I shouldn’t let people get to me, but as soon as someone gets a tone with me my heart starts racing and I just start shaking and I wish I knew how to stop or at least slow myself down. I can’t think straight when it happens. I try to take some deep breaths but even with that a client has complained and said I was huffing at him. So, ugh. Fuck people. I need a job where I don’t have to talk to anyone.