I think my main issue is that I’m just way too competitive. And at the same time I realize that trying to “win” at hobbies or interests or what the fuck ever, is completely petty and unrealistic and so I only frustrate myself further because I know someone else will always be better/prettier/know more. I stop myself from doing so many things because I know I’ll never be the best. I think I’m incredibly scared to fail.

I’ve been doing a lot of self discovery~ and figuring out things about myself. I’m starting to understand a lot of my insecurities and anxieties. But sometimes that’s just worse. Finding the hole you’re in means that you have to start to dig yourself out.